Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Where Facebook Statuses Fail....

Here is an update on our lives, Old-School Blog Style.

We're looking for a somewhat temporary job to get us post-military "stable" until Ben can afford to go to school part-time, while I teach. The piano studio will take 6-12 months to really start off, and even longer to stabilize (where I have a waiting list). At that point, Ben will try to take advantage of the G.I. Bill and we will be able to live on my income and his G.I. stipend.

Until then, any kind of moderate-income job would be nice.

So far, Ben has had 2 job opportunities. Only one is technically an offer. The other is something called "VICE" or Veterans in Construction & Electrical. It is an apprenticeship transitioning into a Union job in (probably) HVAC. The other actual offer was from a State Farm Insurance guy, who is starting up a new agency here in Lacey, and wants to hire Ben for sales.

Each job represents something very different. The Union job would be low-ish pay, but with good benefits, and an almost guarantee of a steady paycheck. He'd be working anywhere within the local chapter, so possibly traveling. He'd be low on the totem-pole, learning a craft, working with his hands. The State Farm job is almost a career-type job. He'd start with a VERY low base salary, no benefits (except a small monthly check from the agent for "healthcare"), and nothing but potential commissions. Potential, potential, potential. If you google the statistics, S.F. agents can make up to $300K a year. It's the possibility of a good income, but not a guarantee. It also would have him doing something very different. He'd be selling insurance to people. That includes all of the things you are probably guessing, cold-calling, briefcase-toting.....maybe even knocking on doors! It will be HARD WORK at first, but, we're hoping, will provide well for us in the end, enabling him to move towards school...or perhaps he'll come to love it, and will want to start his own agency. So far, we're pretty sure it's a good company to work for, if one has to work for The Man. ;) (Thankfully, they don't sell health insurance, so we don't have to deal with that B.S.)

I've lost track of what we want out of life anymore.... School? I think. What for? I try to remember what I wanted to do when I grew up....but I can't get past "benefits, retirement, salary, stipend" and other terms like that. The survival instinct has set in. I'm struggling to keep a vision for the Body of Christ and the Kingdom of Heaven in my mind while I'm wading through all of this. I keep asking myself, "On my deathbed, what will I regret? What will I wish I'd quit sooner? What will disappoint me about my life?" I doubt I'll have regrets about the amount of money we made. I doubt I'll regret much of anything except what has to do with PEOPLE.

My friend today reminded me that Christianity is relational. If Jesus' ministry on earth was defined by anything it was His relationships with PEOPLE. I want to make that my primary focus as we scramble around in this new role as civillians.....that God became man and died for PEOPLE, not for a title, money, or retirement plan. Starting with my marriage, then my children, then the neighbors, church, and my students.....I want to lay my life down for the people around me.

Suddenly, this is clear as I write it. I have been burdened by all the information I have been processing. Decisions, fears, predictions, calculations.......but the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand, and I am a Builder in it. God, help me to build and not tear down with fear. Help me to hold every thought captive to Your Spirit......that I may not be ashamed of what my life has been when I die.


  1. Miss you so much, Susi. Wish we could sit down and talk. Phone isn't the same. I am praying for you and Ben.

  2. You're in our prayers, Susi. Thanks for the post, a good reminder for us all.