Friday, August 21, 2015

Prayer for Soul-Weariness

Lord, take everything from me...sanctify it, return to me nothing that is not of Thee. Take my parenting, which I constantly try to wrestle to perfection. Take my workload, which I constantly complain of. Take the petty desires of my heart for beauty and order, and blow them to smithereens….for only in Thee is found True Beauty and Unending Order. Take my vain worship of the clock and its ridiculous mastery of me. Take my children, my most precious and undeserved possessions. Raise them. For I cannot. Leave nothing untouched by thy pure holiness.  Make me actually look like Thy child.

“This life has no lure anymore.” Make that statement true….for Thy glory.

 How long, O Lord? Darkness pervades, death feel like it still reigns. Everyone...ever…..dies. My days waste away…..the innocent die while I hurry my children to appointments.Terrorism grips cities in fear while I complain of the length of my bangs, and curse the dirty dishes in my sink, laden with wasted food… which does not feed the innocents dying of hunger far from me. Pettiness eats holes in the faith which I do not deserve. Thou alone sustains me and makes me even long for Thee. All I have that is honest is a disdain for the cheapness of my soul’s longings. Other than that, I have nothing to offer Thee but a begging for more of what Is. Not. Me…...which is Thy Eternal Goodness. Oh, encompass me. Oh, drown and drench me in Thy Reality...which is so grave and magnificent and joy-filled and brilliant. ...all of which brilliance overshines the dinge of my life and my longings….and even the sorrows for those.

Even my sorrows, Lord. Even my sorrows hold not enough grief to purge the cheapness of my soul.

Therefore...come, come, come, Lord Jesus. Restore, Renew, Re-make, Refresh. Show the brilliance of your countenance to the God-longing hearts of your children, who wait for you, battered with the weariness of the idolatry of this Middle-Life.

1 comment:

  1. Susi, such wisdom for one so young. You wrote the prayer I only thought. :)