Saturday, September 8, 2012


Ben leaves on Monday morning. We'll be dropping him off at the airport early in the morning, and coming home for preschool and homeschool.

Yes, preschool.

Grace is in our church's preschool 2 days a week. This is such a weird thing for me, but so very, very cool, too. She loves it (what kid WOULDN'T love to spend a half-day with her surrogate grandmas and best buds??) and it has given me the great peaceful headstart I needed to homeschool Violet. I get 2.5 hours with her uninterrupted and guilt-free to read U.S. History, bird science, explain math concepts, and talk maps of the world. It is very freaking awesome. I am in my ZONE, y'all. I love to teach. I can hardly contain my excitement reading about Columbus and....all the other things I missed in elementary school. :P

The studio has been hopping, too. I have had calls every day, and had 2 families observing a lesson today. More parent classes later next week, too! Very, very exciting for us!!


Ben is leaving.

This is why I have felt burdened to "ask for help" with parenting a little this fall in his absence in the form of preschool. It was a beautiful answer to prayer, in the sense that this preschool is all my sisters in Christ schooling their kids & grandkids at our church.

The challenge remains to find a play group for Violet. Gymnastics starts on Tuesday....that might be a venue for her to gain some friends! We shall see.

You know, this separation is going to be different. I see it in the way I start to circle around the room, looking at the grief in everything.....Ben's absence here, his missing out on this, his losing connections with Grace, age 2.....and instead of settling into a Sad Chair, I find myself humming, "Jesus, I am resting, the joy of what thou art." And I sink, restfully, into That Place.

I think finally, at age 30. Or maybe *again* at age 30.....Oh wait, I'm 31. AGAIN--at age 31, I am beginning to believe--really believe that Jesus is all my soul really wants. I've seen Him wrest that "perfect family" dream out of my grasp for 27 months of separation, and I think it's finally sinking in.

Will I be ok without Ben nearby for 5 months?

Yes, I will.

Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
and Thy beauty fills my soul
for by Thy transforming power
Thou has made me whole.

Yes, I rest in Thee, beloved,
know what wealth of Grace is Thine,
know Thy certainty of promise
and have made it mine!

1 comment:

  1. Love this post. So glad to hear you are resting in Jesus. And glad to hear about the girls, their schooling, and all your piano students!! How awesome!

    So weird. I am the opposite of you this year in that I've paused teaching for now. I was tentative but there is peace in the decision and we are excited to push forward into a crazy homeschooling year!

    We'll have to compare notes once in while ;)